This weekend I find myself back in Tucson. I went to college here. Indeed I am very fortunate to have that experience, but sadly, I do not look back upon with an immense fondness. My final year I fell in love with a girl from Australia.Ciircumstances lead to heartbreak and I've felt lost and incomplete ever since. It's a strange neurosis I find myself in these days. All I really want is simplicity and peace of mind. The constant angst and difficult of each day is overwhelming. When did life get so difficult? That's what I want to know. Am I just growing up? Am I weak? Months ago I say in the same spot I'm sitting now and asked a girl from Africa of people grow like trees do? She answered, "Yes", and I proceeded to ask if a tree could grow in the wrong way? For this, her answer was much more drawn. I still think about that. I guess I just still feel wounded, as if my heart had an open cut, unwilling to heal. May the sound of the day be a sourced of joy and heal this life. And there is another allusion to the one I still love. And still I wonder if she feels it too. And the way I feel is the way I feel.